Late Night Activities
by muahaha1524
Summary: River and the Doctor. At night on the TARDIS. Need I say more?


River walked into the TARDIS casually, bearing her sparkling, electric blue evening gown. The Doctor just took her to see a crystal tower on the deserted planet, Kyrophyn. It sparkled even more brilliantly than her dress, and glittered magnificently under the triple sun, which was baby pink. This was due to the molecular gas structure, which redefined the third eye cone, filtering the light separately. Oh, River may not be totally Timelord, but she definitely had the right mind for it.

The Doctor came in sheepishly behind her, closing the door as quietly as possible and exhaling. He knew what happens next. I mean, we're talking River, after all. And try as he may, he never got over his nervousness when it came to suggestive women. River turned around, leaning against the console, staring at him. She raised her left brow.

"Nervous, again. Are we?" she asked, crossing her arms. "Don't make me get the handcuffs out."

"No, just, stop that." he said quickly, putting his arms out. River laughed. The Doctor put his hands behind his back.

"You're so much fun." River exclaimed, making a move towards him. He backed up against the door, but she gripped his hands and tugged him over to the console. "Do you know why?" he tried focusing on a lever. "You're so inexperienced. I mean, 1,000 years of time and space, you've seen all sorts of things. _Women included_, and you act like you know nothing."

"You say I'm fun as if you see other people."

"I have two working eyes, do I not?" River replied, managing to find handcuffs out of- Oh, he stopped wondering where they came from a long time ago.

"No, I mean like being with other men. Tell me I'm wrong."

"Well, seeing as I can't say that, I'll just tell you 'sure'." she said, smirking. The Doctor made an odd noise with his throat, one that resembled a groan of irritation.

"_River_! We're married!" he inquired, throwing his hands in the air. Well, he would have, but one of them was cuffed to the console. "I suppose if you're going to be that way."

"No, Sweetie, I mean I've seen people before you. I'm not _that_ bad. Psychopath, sure. Maniac, absolutely. Not loyal? Please. Only sometimes." River muttered to herself.

"But-"

"Sweetie, what do you like better on me? Electric blue or skin tone?" she questioned, pulling the dress off one of her shoulders, as if giving him contrast. He sighed and continued messing with the cuffs.

"Why, why do you always have these? Prison must confiscate some things, eh?" his wife only smiled deviously, fluffing up her voluminous hair.

"I think-" she said, pressing a button on the console and flipping a switch. "Deep space is a nice idea, don't you? Think about it, middle of nowhere, you and me, maybe a trip down the hall...?" she said.

"Trip down the hall to WHERE exactly?" The Doctor asked, making one last desperate jerk on the steel cuffs.

"Oh, you know. Your room. Never been there before." River implied, getting her index finger tangled in her curls. The Doctor suddenly flushed a shade of scarlet. River furrowed her brows. "What? You dropped blushing four weeks ago."

"Nothing. I suppose I can make a bedroom. If you like."

"You mean you don't have one?"

"Well, um, er, doesn't matter."

"Doctor." he looked at her shyly. "Where's your bedroom?" His face, if possible, got redder.

"Well. You may, possibly, be-Well, in it." he stuttered, deciding to chew on his fingernail. River stared at him.

"You mean to tell me the console room is your bedroom." she stated flatly, placing her hands on her hips. "Oh, I should have known. Husbands always sleep with their wives, am I wrong?" River blurted, thrusting her arm out, gesturing to the TARDIS's console. The Doctor looked flustered.

"Shut up, not like that."

"And you take, all your companions in here. In _your bedroom_. Oh, that's new." River said frustrated. She quickly softened. "Right, anyway, where were we?"

"You don't care?"

"Well, not right now. Too busy." she said, grinning. Her dress dropped to the floor. The Doctor spun around. "Right. I think I'll shoot for skin tone."

The Doctor groaned.

"Let me out of these right now, River, or you'll pay." She laughed.

"Pay how?" he only made another frustrated noise. Flipping out his sonic, he broke the cuffs and spun back around, ignoring that she wasn't wearing anything. Without looking behind him, he typed something into the typewriter and smiled.

"New room. Three left turns, then a right, past the library, pool, and Memory Room, three doors on your left!" he said, grinning. He cast off his Jacket and undid his bow tie. "Brand new and extremely posh..." He cast off his bow tie and slipped off his suspenders. "All for you, Honey." he completed, placing his shirt on the ground. River smirked and picked it up, slipping it on and salvaging some modesty. Not that any was needed. Or so they thought.

The Doctor stuck out his arm, which River took. He picked his bow tie back up, tightening his grip on River's arm, he spun her around, placing her wrists together, he tied them snugly, hindering any movement. He then placed a hand gently on her elbow, directing her back to the stairs.

"You'll pay like this." he said, grinning. The grin was swept off his face when he caught sight of the red head standing at the top of the stairs in her nighty.

"Busy, are we?" she said, in her heavy Scottish accent, crossing her arms.

"Look, it's not what it looks like-"

"Yeah it is. The Doctor seems to be a bit carried away, I presume. But, one favor. Rory's a bit reserved. It would make him sick to the stomach to wake up this morning and find all your clothes all over the console room. Pick them up for me." Amy said, then spun on her heal and disappeared. River rounded him.

"_You brought me on the TARDIS with Mum and Dad and FORGOT?"_ River shouted quietly. The Doctor giggled, but caught himself.

"What? No, of course not. Yes." River rolled her eyes and slipped out of the bow tie.

"Right. There we go." she said, pulling the Doctor by the ear to their new room.


End file.
